He Cares For You

casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. (1)

“…casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” I Peter 5:7

I am so relieved that the debilitating anxiety I was under a couple of months ago has subsided. Those times feel very heavy and scary. There is a sense of hopelessness and fear that permeates every day and it comes and goes in waves. There are vague moments of relief from the uncontrollable overwhelm, but then it comes back with a vengeance and prevents me from functioning properly yet again. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep well, I can’t sit still, I can’t stand up and walk around, I need to be outside because I feel too closed in inside. I spend my days simply wishing for a valium to at least take the edge off a bit. I spend my nights singing songs in my head like “I’m no longer a slave to fear” trying to convince myself to calm down.

But even though the debilitation has eased, I still struggle with anxiety on a lesser level almost every day.

My husband has recently been diagnosed with diabetes and has had some scary neuropathy issues that have even affected his face and eyes.

“…casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

My oldest son renounced our Christian faith several years ago and shows no visible signs of returning.

“…casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

Our financial situation has always been difficult, some periods worse than others but always hard. When my husband lost his job of 20+ years (about 15 years ago), we moved from our 2000 square foot home in Texas to my parents’ house in Oklahoma and then to a house half the size of the home we had in Texas and lived there for 8 years while all 3 of our children were still living at home. We went many years without health insurance and for a time, our children were on our state’s Medicaid. I am sure we qualified for food stamps at one point, but I couldn’t bring myself to go apply for them. For some reasons understood and others not understood, we have always grappled with low-ish income.

“…casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

I often feel like a square peg in a round hole. Different, slow to learn new things (I think due to finding it necessary to understand the whole, the why, before understanding the parts) yet also smart, a bit of a social bumbler. I tend to be a pessimist. I find it hard to let my guard down and let friends in.

“…casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

“…because he cares for you.”

“…because he cares for you.”

I think sometimes we let that second part just trail off at the end, but it is really the most important part of the sentence. Let’s read it again and let it sink in.

“…because he cares for you.”

There are times when you read a particular verse in the Bible, maybe one you’ve read many times, and it just jumps out at you like never before. Several years ago, when we were going through a particularly hard time, I was reading the Psalms as I normally did for comfort and came to Psalms 18:19, “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” I don’t think I was necessarily feeling unloved in those days, but I was feeling like I was maybe a bit neutral in God’s eyes, put on the back burner for a while. To read that day “…he rescued me because he delighted in me” suddenly sent me soaring. God was speaking directly into my soul at that moment to let me know He delighted, DELIGHTED, in ME! And as an added bonus, my thought regarding the first part of that verse, “He brought me out into a spacious place,” was that the home in the country that we had dreamed about building might actually somehow, some way, become a reality. Of course, I had no way of knowing back then that it would actually come to pass, and even if it had not, I knew that God did not love me any more or less depending on whether or not our country dreams would ever be fulfilled. But 4 ½ years ago, God did bless us with this beautiful home in our “spacious place” out in the country and it came about due to some pretty extraordinary means.

“…casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

He cares for me.

When I am able to relax in that realization, then I am more able to put my cares, worries, and anxieties in their proper place. I don’t ever do it perfectly, but their prominence in my thoughts is greatly reduced and I am better able to trust when I allow my soul to remember how much He really does care for me.

“…casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

Yes, He really does.

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